Farewell 2013

As 2013 draws to a close, I thought I’d make some awards for sporting endeavours and achievements over the past 12 months.

But firstly, in the spirit of random writing, I gave myself two minutes to come up with eight former sportsmen whose whereabouts these days intrigue me. So here we go.

Daniel

The former Phoenix fan favourite was, by way of a vastly reduced contract on offer, shown the door by the Nix in 2012. He took out NZ citizenship while here and declared his goal to represent the All Whites, which he never did. He now plies his trade for INSEE Police United Football club in Thailand and has apparently scored ten goals this season. The Nix could do with ten goals about now…

Steve Woodin

My favourite 1980’s All Whites striker possessed one of the sweetest left feet in the game back then. He was one of the Pommie brigade who made their way to our shores in the 1970’s. It’s surprising to me that he made only 24 international appearances, but I’ll never forget his immense contribution to our journey to the World Cup in 1982.  He now appears as a football pundit in several areas of the media.

Kerri Boagni

The former NBA draft pick in 1986 was, along with Kenny McFadden, the main man of NZ basketball in the late 80’s and 1990’s. After several outstanding seasons for the Wellington Saints, he transferred to Hawkes Bay before moving back to Los Angeles where he continues to reside today

Kevin Campion

The man with a face that only his mother could love was the legendary hard man of the Warriors pack in the early 2000’s. His one-sided punch-up with Broncos enforcer Shane Webcke was a personal favourite of mine. After retirement from the North Queensland Cowboys in 2004 he had a brief coaching stint back in Auckland before returning to Queensland

Jerry Seuseu

In the spirit of ex-Warriors tough guys with extremely hard skulls, Seuseu was another to come to mind. After leaving Auckland in 2004, he had a couple of seasons playing for another Warriors team (Wigan) before returning to work for Auckland Rugby League. He now works for the Warriors (Auckland).

Heath Davis

The former speed demon bowler, full name Heath Te-Ihi-O-Te-Rangi Davis, was successful largely because he had as much idea where the ball was going to be bowled as the batsman did (none). He regularly clocked up speeds over 140 km/h at the bowling crease and sometimes held the ball ‘cross-seam’ in a desperate attempt to control its trajectory.  Davis currently resides in Brisbane, Australia, and is involved with cricket coaching

Merv Hughes

Mighty Moustachioed Massive Merv was one of the true characters of sport in his playing days. He would simply not survive in the sport these days as he was not exactly the fittest, slimmest or cleanest-living of chaps. He was known to ‘sledge’ a batsman or two in his time but one of my favourites was a response he produced. Having just hit the big man for a boundary, abrasive Pakistani batsman Javed Miandad told him that he resembled ‘a fat bus conductor’. Next ball was a beauty that removed Miandad from the crease. As Hughes ran past Miandad he simply acted out the motion of a passenger pulling the bell/buzzer on a bus and said ‘ding ding, tickets please’. Brilliant.

Hughes most recently was a selector for the Australian team until 2010. He also dabbles in media work.

Chris Donaldson

The Kiwi sprinter with the movie star looks and the movie director father was always one of the top New Zealand athletes in the 1990’s and into the 2000’s. With a PB of just 6/100ths of a second away from Gus Nketia’s NZ 100 metre record of 10.11 seconds, Donaldson represented NZ at several World Championships and the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. He now works as the Black Caps Strength and Conditioning Coach

And The Award Goes To…

Most Predictable Unoriginal Repeated Headline Award

‘Calypso Collapso’. As in the West Indies. As in cricket. As in one of the least creative/most repeated headlines ever – right up there with ‘Ben Smith is the Centre of Attention’.

Team of the Year

The All Blacks of course. Their achievements this year were nothing short of astonishing and I think it will largely continue next year. My concern is around bulk. Sure these guys are big, but many opposition players are seemingly bigger. And they’re getting larger by the year. We just have to keep an eye on that…

Heads Buried in the Sand Award

NZ Rugby Union. They’re in the black financially. TV audience numbers are good. Their prime assets dressed all in black are humming.  BUT the grounds are empty (or near to it anyway) for all but international matches. Super rugby isn’t all that super anymore and the ITM Cup, with its crazy ‘there’s-a-Premiership-and-a-Championship-but-everyone-plays-everyone-else-regardless-of-which-division-they’re-in’ setup is just damn confusing. All the NZRU’s eggs are in one black basket. They have to sort the domestic side of things or there may not be a product to sell one day.

The Late Bloomer Award

When Ross Taylor was unceremoniously and disgracefully dumped as Black Caps Captain, he could’ve responded by cracking or just walking away. Instead he has responded by scoring a shed load of runs including three test centuries, including one double century, in the current series against the Windies. He’s always had the natural talent to be one of our best and now, in his late 20’s, he’s finally starting to fulfil it.

Most Disappointing Team of the Year

And the contenders are…

Phoenix

Warriors

Breakers

Gee, it’s a tough call but I’m going to give it to the Breakers. Their fall from grace, as I’ve mentioned at least twice, has been spectacular. If they can come back to make the playoffs from here it’ll be an astonishing effort.

Best Comeback of the Year

Jesse Ryder. The victim of a disgraceful cowardly assault that almost ended his life; he has come back in style and will return to the international cricket arena on Boxing Day. Well done Jesse.

The Thank God He’s Not Playing Anymore Award

Shane Warne. I know he was only playing in the Beeg Bash last year. But the breathing wax model was only a shadow of the top player he once was when he last played and he looked embarrassingly comedic when he tried to hit top running speed. Not missed.

The Shambolic Sporting Organisation Award

Football NZ. Just amateur in every way. The new CEO has the goods on paper. I sincerely hope he can translate that into results; I believe he can.

The ‘Why Do All Their Teams Have the Same Name?’ Award

A few years ago NZ Hockey wisely chose to call almost every New Zealand team the ‘Black Sticks’. Weird decision and, just quietly, I suspect they are going to be in the running for this award every year.

The Tall Poppy Award

SBW. Nobody in NZ sport divides opinion more than Sonny Bill does. I read an opinion piece this weekend that said Sonny ‘has no mana and no loyalty’. The ‘article’ then went on to compare him in a negative light to the good ol’ All Blacks of the 1960’s who played ‘only for the Black Jersey and national pride etc etc blah blah blah. What a yawnfest. SBW is the consummate athlete and, in my opinion, a far better rugby player than he is a league player. He is able to change teams and codes because he’s good at what he does, he is constantly looking for a new challenge and, quite simply, because he can. I’m rapt he’ll be in contention for the All Blacks at the next world cup. I’m stoked that he’ll be in line to play for the All Blacks Sevens side at the Olympics the following year. In Sevens he’ll be a devastating forward and almost unstoppable up the middle of the park with his power and ability to offload at will while drawing in three opposition players. I don’t care if he, eight other All Blacks and DJ Forbes make up our squad. That’ll be fine as long as they come back with gold medals.

Predictions for 2014

Phoenix

Will recover from the shocking first half of the season, finish in sixth spot and upset Brisbane Roar in the first round of the playoffs before losing unluckily in the semi-finals to the Newcastle Jets.

Breakers

After a horror 2013, they regroup and win every game of the rest of the season, including the grand final. Boom.

Black Caps

Building on their newly-acquired knowledge that not every delivery they face needs to be thrashed over the fence and that the forward defensive shot is not illegal, the Black Caps batsmen also decide to emulate another popular NZ team. They introduce a haka before every innings, take to wearing headgear and subsequently scale new heights to go through the year unbeaten.

Irene Van Dyk

Will discover she is actually 47 years old. Signs a new 5 year contract with the Silver Ferns and continues averaging 99% shooting success. Also announces her candidacy for Prime Minister at the 2017 election.

All Blacks

Will win every game and bring through a succession of young exciting players who continue to re-define the game of rugby. The British media will continually report that the AB’s ‘are beatable’ and ‘are showing signs of weakness within their ageing side’ while all the home nations are defeated in succession. Oh wait, that was this year…

Netball’s Fast Five Tournament

This 20/20 equivalent will abandon the netball aspect of the tournament as they realise only two teams are actually capable of winning it. It will instead be changed to a dress-up dance party. I doubt some of the umpires would even notice the difference.

Super 15

Average ground attendance in New Zealand and Australia will be 1,206 while in South Africa the average will be around 84,000. For the first time ever ratings information will show that not one person in NZ or Australia watched a game played in the Republic. Meanwhile the NZRU declares the tournament a great success. The Hurricanes lose their last eight games to finish 9^th as they ‘build for the future with some fantastic young players.’

Liverpool Football Club

Will win the Premier League. End of story.

Joseph Parker

Ends the year in the WBC, IBF and WBA top 10 rankings. The WBO releases their rankings too but it’s not clear what number they assigned to Parker as nobody reads the press release because nobody cares about the WBO.   

The End for Ifill?

Finally if, as it appears, Paul Ifill’s career with the Phoenix has come to an end; what a sad way to finish. Coming back from ruptured Achilles injuries is very do-able but at 34 years of age with his contract expiring in a few months and his form starting to fade the odds are stacked against him. If that was indeed the end, Ifill will be remembered as probably the best player to have donned the yellow and black striped shirt. He was a firm fan favourite and I hope he sticks around Wellington in the future to help develop our young footballing talent.

Merry Xmas All!

Till Next Year,

SG

Highlights Package

Such an array of sporting events this week….

Fight for Lonergan Life

We’ve just witnessed the latest instalment of Dean Lonergan’s annual boxing extravaganza to raise some money for charity and some money for Dean Lonergan.

This was surely Shane Cameron’s swansong as a sort of top level boxer. Brian Minto is nothing more than a 38 year old journeyman with a ‘championship’ belt of some sort or another. But against Cameron he looked like a world-beater. Minto was ferocious in his assault from the outset and Cameron looked almost as ineffective as he did against David Tua in 2009. Cameron delivered his fair share of blows to Minto’s skull, but they never appeared to cause any trouble or concern. And when Cameron was on the receiving end he stopped moving away and simply put his head down and guard up and tried to absorb the punishment, which is not a good idea in the heavyweight ranks.

Unfortunately he doesn’t quite fit into either the cruiserweight or heavyweight divisions. If he slims down to sub-90kg he lacks the power to be effective. If he bulks up again to 99kg+ he has more power but, with the exception of some outstanding knockouts like his victory over Monte Barrett, not enough to trouble many decent bigger fighters. I don’t think it would be a smart move by his entourage to pick a fight with Joseph Parker. Cameron has had a career better than that of most pugilists. Time to move on to something else before some real damage is done.

In terms of the celeb bouts, next time how about Gerry Brownlee vs. Kim Dotcom, John Key vs. Winston Peters, Brendon McCullum vs. Michael Clarke and, for the main event, Jason Pine vs. Hamish McKay. Someone give Deano a call.

Phoenix Wings Clipped

Ernie Merrick is at a loss to explain why things aren’t clicking on the field. I was at the Stadium on Saturday to absorb a dose of vitamin D and watch the ‘Nix take on the table-topping Brisbane Roar. I actually thought the Nix were excellent in patches and dominated large portions of the game without reward. Here’s my player-by-player assessment.

Glen Moss has the occasional positional lapse but there’s no question he’s the best keeper in NZ.

Louis Fenton is slowly learning when it’s ok to attack and when he needs to fulfil his defensive responsibilities. He’s certainly worth persevering with as he’s quick, fearless and possesses good distribution skills.

Ben Sigmund has a worrying lack of pace, but he makes up for that with his courage and determination. As long as he keeps that in check and doesn’t become reckless, his partnership with Captain Fantastic Andrew Durante is excellent.

Merrick needs to find or develop a new left back. That’s no disrespect to Manny Muscat; in fact quite the opposite. He is so good at this level that playing him at left back is a waste of his talent. He needs to be controlling midfield instead and would of far greater value to the Nix in the middle of the park.

Which Vince Lia doesn’t really do. I think the midfield has to be an area Merrick targets when the transfer window opens, although I thought Riera looked much improved this weekend.

Kenny Cunningham and Stein Huysegems are all-action players who cover an awful lot of ground in the course of a match. Cunningham looks dangerous every time he has the ball and is looking better every week. Huysegems often resembles a headless chook as he runs and runs, often in circles but you cannot fault his work ethic and his endeavour frequently creates opportunities for his team mates and himself.

Carlos Hernandez arrived in the Capital with a big reputation. But he has in general failed to deliver thus far. He may not be 100% fit, but it would be great to see him kick on and produce some of the magic we were promised.

Lack of goals is the single biggest problem for the team. Jeremy Brockie creates very little and scores even less. If he worked as hard as Huysegems, the team would be a lot better off. If the workrate is not at a Huysegems level and if the accuracy doesn’t improve immediately (that point-blank miss vs. the Roar was just awful), Merrick’s patience will be wearing thin very shortly.

Finally, I’m a big fan of Paul Ifill. But the current version is not the A-League superstar of seasons gone by. The pace has gone; that’s understandable. But worst of all, he seems to have lost confidence. On Saturday he was through on goal but chose to take three touches rather than just back himself and shoot. I really hope Ifill rediscovers the old magic this season as he’s joy to watch when he’s in form.

Breakers Broken

Every sporting dynasty comes to an end eventually. But the Breakers’ demise in the NBL has been dramatic. Another loss this weekend and they now have a 4 win 9 loss record and are struggling to put anything together on the court. There have been the publicised changed refereeing approach, changes in personnel and the lack of form of several key players. But fans have under-estimated the impact of the retirement of Dillon Boucher. He wasn’t the flashiest of players, nor the quickest, nor the tallest. But what he did do was lead the team superbly as well as do an awful lot of the work that only astute basketball connoisseurs notice. Cedric Jackson was undoubtedly the Breakers’ best player last season and his loss was massive. But the loss of Boucher was not that far behind. 

No Longer Ready to Rumble

Sonny Bill Williams has been stripped of two boxing title belts that are about as well-known and as highly regarded as Brian Minto’s. Yeah, I don’t care either.

Not So Super Anymore

Rumours surfaced this weekend that a sixth South African team will be introduced into Super Rugby in 2016. As Liam Napier wrote in stuff.co.nz, African teams have ‘won’ the wooden spoon in 13 of the 16 Super Rugby seasons. They seem unable to produce five competitive teams. So why bring in another? Easy answer - money. The South African broadcast deal is far and away the largest slice of the income pie. Super Rugby has become stale and, well, boring. I’d love to see it spiced up with the inclusion of a Pacific team or perhaps Japan, but not another pointless team in what is rapidly becoming an uninspiring competition. My son is 8 and as far as he is aware spectators have always been able to stroll up to the gate 5 minutes before kickoff, buy a ticket and not miss the start of the game. He has no idea that there were once waiting lists for Hurricanes season tickets and that many games, not just All Black tests, were sold out well in advance. How many more years of half empty stadiums will it take to kick-start the NZRU into finding an equilibrium between rugby and money?

Maybe He Does Know What He’s Doing After All

The Liverpool Express that is Luis Suarez and ten able assistants chugged onwards this morning. Winning 5-0 at White Hart Lane has put all sorts of Christmas pressure on Spurs boss Andre Villas-Boas, who must surely only be one or two more performances like this away from losing the faith of his bosses altogether.

But from a Liverpool fan’s perspective, this is fantastic to watch. Suarez must be pushing Messi and Ronaldo for the title of best player on the globe currently and he, as the commentator said this morning, is as close to unstoppable as a player can be. And Brendon Rogers move to give him the captain’s armband in Steven Gerrard’s injury-enforced absence looks to be a master-stroke. For all his doubters (including me) prior to this season, maybe he actually does have a plan after all.

We Don’t Like Cricket….We Love It

Most cricket fans born after 1988 would be unaware that the Black Caps (or Young Guns as they were once known, or even further back when they were called the New Zealand Cricket Team) have actually won a couple of tests in the past. Any test win is rare but a win inside three days is almost unimaginable. Never mind that this is one of more average West Indies sides in recent memory or that they really don’t look like they want to be here at all. Trent Boult was excellent and the once mighty Windies batsmen were generally unable to cope with him. I’m looking forward to seeing the return of Jesse Ryder and in some capacity Daniel Vettori to mentor the promising spinner Ish Sodhi.

A win is a win, and this was a good one. We’ll take it.

Till Next Time,

SG

Good Week, Bad Week

It happens all the time. For every winner in sport there is generally a loser. This week there have been quite a few prominent examples of each. My highlights/lowlights of the week are as follows...

Good Week - Liverpool Football Club

Nine goals in two consecutive wins against, admittedly, average opposition. Second in the table at time of writing. Champions League, here we come!

Bad Week – Manchester United

Two consecutive losses at home for the first time since 2002 and five losses in total this season already. David Moyes will be feeling some heat if he doesn’t turn the ship around very shortly.

Good Week – Perth Glory

The Australian football club on the other side of the world defeated the hapless Wellington Phoenix despite a catastrophic series of injuries to key players.

Bad Week – Wellington Phoenix

Something just ain’t clicking. The defence looks uncertain, the midfield looks pedestrian and the attack just doesn’t quite flow. While Stein Huysegems and Paul Ifill show undoubted glimpses of skill and beautiful touches, on a scale of 1-10 their combined pace is about a 2. New Blood is needed in January.

Good Week – Aussie Cricketers

Admittedly they’re on home soil, but the turnaround in the Australian cricket team’s fortunes has been quite stunning in this current Ashes series. It’s looking increasingly like the world’s smallest sporting trophy will be heading down under once again.

Bad Week – English Cricketers

No doubt the Aussies have got under Poms’ skin with their aggression, sledging and mind games. Hopefully Jonathan Trott will recover sufficiently to resume his excellent international career in the future. But the rest of the England team look mentally shot already.

Good Week - Ross Taylor

Rosco finally broke into the select club of Kiwi cricketers to score a double ton in a test match. He demonstrated, to himself and to the public, that not every innings needs to be played like the last three overs of an IPL slugfest. Patience + proper cricket shots – slog sweeps = long and impressive innings.

Bad Week – Chris Cairns, Lou Vincent, Darryl Tuffey

Who knows what happens in the murky world of international cricket? And who knows whether these guys have done anything wrong? If nothing else, it’s been a humiliating week for these three chaps. Hopefully the shambolic ICC can actually sort this out because they’ve done a terrible job thus far.

Good Week – John Afoa

He’s always been a good solid prop. But the equivalent of $1 million annually for four years at Gloucester, making him the third highest paid player in Europe? Wow. To return to the Blues, he’d have had to take something like an $800,000 salary cut. Why would you?

Bad Week – Russell Packer

The supposed bad boy of the Warriors really is now, allegedly, a bad boy. A serious assault charge pending and his NRL contract with the Newcastle Knights torn up. That may well be the end of the prop’s career.

Good Week – Lydia Ko

The 16-year-old won the $US1 million Swinging Skirts World Ladies Masters tournament in Taiwan, beating former US Open champion and world No 5 So Yeon Ryu of South Korea and pocketing a cool $US150,000. All in just her second tournament as a professional. She is amazing.

Bad Week – The NZ Breakers

The baskets run around the rim but, unlike last season, they don’t fall through the net. Key players aren’t firing. Andrej Lemanis and Cedric Jackson are long gone. It’s hard to imagine the Breakers making this year’s NBL playoffs, let alone winning a fourth championship

Good Week – Tom Walsh

Rising Shot put Star is a title that has been unanimously reserved for Jacko Gill for the past four or five years. Now there’s a new kid on the block. He’s quite a large kid, and actually not really a kid at all, but in Melbourne this weekend Walsh broke Gill’s national shot put record and in the process qualified for the World Championships and Commonwealth Games. 

Bad Week – Jacko Gill

Not really a bad week, despite losing his national record. Competition is fantastic for any sportsperson and will undoubtedly bring out the best in Gill.

Good Week – Luis Suarez

The Liverpool marksman has scored six goals in his last two games and at times looks unstoppable. It will be difficult for Liverpool to resist the amorous advances of Real Madrid in January.

Bad Week – The Black Caps

I know we were 4-40. And I know we really didn’t want lose a match we should have already wrapped up. But Jesus, we only needed 113 runs to win against a decidedly average West Indies team. But, as a good mate of mine said, have Black Caps Management ever heard of ‘metservice.co.nz’? Surely a ‘hey guys, there’s rain in them thar hills -get a move on’ would’ve been a good idea. I think they only scored one run in the last three overs before rain struck. We haven’t beaten a proper cricket nation in in a test in NZ since 2009.

Good Week – The imperious Kieran Read

He won every rugby award going, and rightly so.

Bad Week – NZ Domestic Cricket

No crowds, little coverage, almost no interest.

RIP Nelson Mandela

In a sporting context, Mandela will always be remembered for his effect on the 1995 Rugby World Cup. His presence at the tournament visibly lifted the crowds and the Springboks themselves.  When he walked onto the field before the World Cup Final wearing a Springbok jersey, several Bok players including the skipper Francois Pienaar said at that moment they’d have run through brick walls for the man. But the real masterstroke was the intended effect on the, till that point, indomitable All Black side. Several AB’s, including Jonah Lomu, said that Mandela simply shook each player’s hand, smiled and said ‘good luck’. That in itself was a mind-blowing experience for many of the team. But the real mental impact came when he turned and walked away from the team thereby showing the Captain’s number 6 on the back of his jersey. Players’ reactions were mixed, but overall the All Blacks simply thought ‘uh-oh’. It was a brilliant masterstroke in terms of mind-games. 

Of course ‘Madiba’ achieved things for his country that are far more important than, and transcend, sport. Although South Africa is still a work in progress and not exactly without its fair share of problems, Mandela was instrumental in ending the appalling practice of racial apartheid. Rest in peace.

Till Next Time,

SG

Not All White On The Night

I’ve had a week and a bit now to get over the disappointment of the All Whites being denied World Cup qualification by Mexico. I know it wasn’t exactly unexpected, but it was still gut-wrenching to go three goals down so early in the second leg and see our already extremely faint hopes extinguished altogether. I’ve mulled over what went wrong, and here’s what I think.

Ricki Herbert did the right thing in calling up young defenders Storm Roux and Bill Tuiloma. What he did wrong was play each of them on the wrong side of the field. Roux looked uncomfortable on the right, and indeed was caught out of position for at least two of Mexico’s goals, while Tuiloma is clearly right footed. When Tuiloma went off injured to be replaced by Louis Fenton, who was excellent in his time on the field, Roux looked accomplished and classy at left back.

Central defence just didn’t work. Whether Andrew Durante simply demonstrated that he doesn’t have the pace to play at international level or communication between him and Tommy Smith simply broke down as they attempted to play a very high offside line, I don’t know. If the ball was played in the air, those two looked at ease.  But when the little Mexican strikers ran angles and received beautiful through balls in behind the central defenders, the Kiwis looked lost. I’d like to see Durante included in future squads, but it’s clear our best pairing is Smith and Winston Reid.

In midfield, Chris James was solid if unspectacular. Out wide Marco Rojas occasionally looked a little lost. I think his best position is tucked in behind the strikers and it’s no coincidence that his best runs were made down the middle of the park. Barbarouses was all energy and action and he never stopped trying, which was fantastic to see. Rory Fallon, who I’ve previously said I thought was no longer up to international standard, lifted the whole team with his energy, determination and, I have to admit, glimpses of real skill.

However, high work-rate is not a quality Shane Smeltz and Jeremy Brockie should be putting on their footballing CV’s. Both are fairly limited players (average pace, no left foot) who are perfectly fine at A-League level, but are wholly ineffective any higher up. Brockie, whose job is to score goals, has scored no goals in 42 international appearances. Surely that’s not good enough. Smeltz has been a very good player for New Zealand but probably peaked two or three or years ago.

What was the worst aspect of the otherwise fantastic game of football at the Stadium? Easy – the play-acting, the theatrics, the impersonations of fish flapping about on a jetty. If an All White ran past a Mexican and said boo, or sneezed at them from 10 metres away, the little Central American players would collapse like shooting victims. God only knows how they’d react if they were actually fouled. I don’t have a solution for this blight on the game, but it ruins many a match and something must be done, even if it’s retrospective.

At the stadium I sat next to Gary from Motueka. As our discussion began to progressively focus more on the future and less on what was happening on the field in front of us, we essentially shared the same view. There are a number of talented young Kiwis plying their trade in football leagues around the globe that are of a significantly higher standard than the A-League. Gary and I agreed it is time for these players to be selected more regularly for New Zealand. And it’s also time for a foreign coach to be brought on board. Most of us fans want to see a pass-and-move possession-based game; not what we were served up in the past two defeats. Against the Mexicans we witnessed far too many instances of players in white passing to a team mate then standing still or going for a leisurely stroll as they seemingly thought ‘job done’. A top(ish) level international coach would not select players who play like that. 

New Zealand football has been in a holding pattern for three years now. It’s time to up the ante.

Rugby League World Cup Final Review

If you had to pick an Australasian side, you’d pick the Aussie team and maybe include SBW and, at an absolute push, Isaac Luke and Manu Vatuvei on the bench. We lost and anyone who thought we were going to win was dreaming.

What Happened To……?

I received a request to write something along these lines. This is pretty random stuff but here goes.

Sheffield Wednesday

Wednesday was always an ‘almost’ team. They’d spend time in the top league, occasionally be relegated and generally bounce back up pretty quickly. Their halcyon moment came in 1991 when they won the League Cup to win their first trophy in 50 years. Within a decade of that victory they’d been relegated twice and were a financial shambles mainly due to a series of disastrous and expensive player transfers. In 20 years they’ve had more managers than I’ve had hot dinners (as they say in Sheffield) and in 2010 the club was sold for £1. They currently sit second to last in the Championship.

Bradford City

Bradford City AFC spent 77 years out of the top flight of English football until they were promoted to the Premier League in 1999. They stayed up by the skin of their teeth the following season before being relegated the season after. Then followed the all-too-familiar story of financial struggles as overly ambitious managers and executives seemingly based their expenditure and financial forecasts on fantasy and make-believe. And that was the end of that. Or was it….in 2013 they became the first team from the fourth tier of English football to reach a major Wembley final – the League Cup. It was almost a fairy-tale story, but they lost 5-0 to Swansea City, although they then managed to get promoted to League One last season as well.

Portsmouth

One of the most spectacular and rapid falls from grace was that of Portsmouth FC. In 2008 they won the FA Cup and finished safely in the Premier League. The following season they were competing in the UEFA Cup (now Europa League) against teams like AC Milan. But, without wishing to sound like a broken record, massive financial problems set in and relegations to The Championship (2010), League One (2012) then to League Two (2013) followed. They were placed in administration, came within a whisker of being dissolved as an entity before being bought for next to nothing by a fans’ consortium and currently sit 17^th in League Two. All this less than four years after lining up against the might of Milan.

The Ultimate Warrior

Wrestling is kind of a sport; the results are no more fixed than an Indian cricket match or a lower league football game in England.  The Ultimate Warrior was my favourite WWF wrestler in the 1980’s. Without the bulk, the facepaint and the relative youthfulness, he now appears as a grey (long) haired chap with a goatee. He apparently called time on his wrestling career in the late 1990’s and now blogs a little and runs his website. I choose to remember him as he was…

Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts

The Snake was another fave of mine around the same time. After the master of the DDT finishing move left big-time wrestling, he moved on to small-time wrestling, booze and drugs. In 2012 he weighed over 140kg and was an addict well on his way to an early grave. But he has got his life back on track, got sober and lost about 25kg. Good work Jake!

Seattle Supersonics

The Sonics played in the NBA from 1967 till 2008, winning the Championship in 1979. In 2008 the franchise was relocated to Oklahoma, where the team is now known as the Oklahoma City Thunder. There has recently been a failed bid by a consortium, including former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, to purchase the Sacramento Kings franchise, shift it to Seattle and resurrect the Sonics brand.

Washington Bullets

The Bullets became the Wizards in 1997 to avoid any association with gun violence. Kinda boring, nothing else to add.

Charlotte Hornets

This one is more interesting. The franchise began the 1988–89 NBA season as the Charlotte Hornets. Following the 2001–02 season, the team relocated to New Orleans, becoming the New Orleans Hornets. After three seasons in New Orleans, due to the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina, the franchise temporarily relocated to Oklahoma City, where they spent two seasons officially known as the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. They then returned to New Orleans for the 2007–08 season and changed their name to the "Pelicans" at the conclusion of the 2012–13 season. And now the Charlotte Bobcats (owned in part by Michael Jordan)) have received approval to change their name to Charlotte Hornets, effective in the 2014–15 season. Got all that?

Hutt Valley Lakers/Shakers

This last one is more a request from me than anything else. The Lakers won a couple of New Zealand NBL basketball titles in the early 1990’s. My memory is akin to Swiss cheese but I have a vague recollection of The Lakers being forced to change their name to The Shakers due to a ‘forceful request’ from the LA Lakers. Does anyone remember that, or am I imagining it?

Till next time,

SG

Deep. Can You Dig It?

After the Rugby League World Cup semi-final, I thought I’d seen it all. Shaun Johnson’s moment of magic after 79 minutes and 42 seconds, to snatch relief from the jaws of despair, was amazing. But then on Monday morning NZ time came an even greater Houdini impersonation. At the 79 minute 42 second mark, Ireland had just conceded a penalty and the All Blacks were busy taking then re-taking a quick tap inside their own half. Even the most fervent black-jersey-wearing mochaccino-sipping inappropriate-language-using fan (i.e. me) had flagged this as the All Blacks first ever loss to the Irish. I’d given up. But luckily I’m not the captain of the national team. Richie McCaw portrayed immense calmness as he implored his teammates to carry on. After the aforementioned quick tap was taken, McCaw’s troops worked their way steadily down the field as a courageous but physically exhausted Irish pack struggled to hold on. Finally, with the full time siren but a distant memory, a couple of slick passes allowed Ryan Crotty to crash over near the corner to tie the game. After a false start when taking the conversion, Aaron Cruden recovered to slot the extra two points and what had been an impossibility just minutes earlier had become a reality. The All Blacks had certainly dug deep.

We Kiwis always look at our team first when analysing a loss or a close result. And I will do just that in one moment. But this was a fantastic performance by the Irishmen. They were brave, skilful, immense at the breakdown and at set pieces and clinical in their execution. Well, they were clinical right up until the missed penalty with about four minutes remaining (Jonathan Sexton used up every second he could – maybe he took too long and lost concentration) which would have secured victory for the home team. But this Irish team was unrecognisable from the one that capitulated against the Wallabies last week. They should be very proud of their efforts despite the 24-22 loss.

The British media reacted with a mixture of joy and a tinge of surprise that the All Blacks are not infallible. Well, of course they’re not. The Chicago Bulls in the 1990’s lost plenty of games, as did the mighty Lakers outfit of the 80’s, Arsenal’s great side of a decade ago, Manchester United up until last season, the Australian cricketers of the late eighties till the retirement of Warne and McGrath; need I go on? Great teams lose games. But they win more than they lose. The Media up yonder have also commenced their usual ‘The All Blacks will be vulnerable come World Cup time’. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t.

But there were a few aspects of this performance from the AB’s that made me a little nervous.

Scrummaging

This very important set piece aspect of the game has looked shaky all tour and, despite an improvement, still didn’t look particularly solid at times in this test. I think loosehead stocks fall away sharply after Tony Woodcock, so I’ll be interested to see how Hansen’s project Jeff Toomaga-Allen goes if he gets any runs in the number one jersey next season. On the other side of the front row, I believe Owen Franks and Charlie Faumuina are very good props. But on too many occasions this season the opposition loosehead has managed to shunt the right side of our scrum backwards. This needs to be addressed urgently before next season.

Bulk

Has anyone else noticed how physically big international players from other countries are getting? It’s especially prevalent in the northern hemisphere where backs are starting to resemble loose forwards, loose forwards look more like tight forwards and tight forwards like rhinos. Examples in this Irish squad are lock Devin Toner who weighs 125kg and first five Jonathan Sexton who is 6 ft 2 in and 92 kg. Aside from any stats I just think these players look bigger and often stronger than our lads. Even Brian O’Driscoll appears to have grown a new set of guns. And I think we’ve been dominated at the breakdown by several teams this year because of that. The All Blacks are ridiculously fit, and that fitness has won them games and will continue to do so. But rugby is increasingly a game of physical combat that can be won and lost at the breakdown. I’ve said before I thought that if Sam Whitelock added just a few kgs of muscle, he’d be an even more amazing player. And I still believe that. I’m prepared to be told that other teams simply wear tighter jerseys and that it’s therefore all an optical illusion. I’m also happy to be told that our players are lifting more tin in the gym than ever before. All I’m saying is that I hope it’s something the coaches and their fitness gurus are keeping an eye on.

Number 10

This is probably not a particularly popular view, especially after his kicking heroics at the death, but I wonder if we’d be better playing Beauden Barrett ahead of Aaron Cruden. For me it’s partially related to the ‘Bulk’ point I’ve just made. Barrett is a more physical player who still possesses similar kicking and passing abilities to Cruden. I also think Barrett is the better defender of the two. Cruden seems like a top bloke, and he had some lovely touches in this most recent test, but I wonder if opposition teams sometimes target him as the weak link due to his physical stature.

Depth/Problem positions

There are some positions in which we are blessed with exceptional depth. But there are some roles that do not have so many capable understudies available. I’ve mentioned loosehead prop already. To that I add hooker (assuming Andrew Hore is done), number eight (until Jerome Kaino can prove he’s as good as he was or Victor Vito finds a way back), midfield backs (Ryan Crotty does his job, and does sport tremendously masculine facial hair, but he’s a journeyman and I really don’t think Ben Smith has the physicality in his game to play centre; hurry back SBW)

But overall, well done to the All Blacks. A perfect season (in terms of results) is a phenomenal achievement. If 90% of overseas journalists are picking on you and trying to find fault in everything you do, you must be doing something right!

Rugby League ‘World Cup’

As expected it’s a Kiwi/Aussie final. It was almost an Aussie/Pom final, but it’s not.

International rugby league really is, as Tony Kemp suggested, a debacle. Eligibility rules, if they exist at all, are flouted left right and centre. Kiwi squad member Sam Moa played for Tonga in April. Petero Civoniceva only finished playing for Queensland and Australia in the recent past but he’s been leading Fiji in this tournament. Tenuous ancestral links have resulted in the USA and Italy fielding half-decent sides. You even have the silly situation of Jarryd Hayne having played for Fiji at the last World Cup then scoring three tries against them while playing for Australia this weekend. Indeed, the NRL has apparently supplied 174 of the players representing ‘their’ countries at the tournament and another handful have made the trip from lesser Australian domestic competitions. So it’s essentially a case of Australia vs. New Zealand and England.

Then, bizarrely, tournament coverage rights have been priced in such a way that Radio Sport are not providing any match coverage and in England the BBC is only broadcasting matches featuring England while all other matches are being shown on some random pay channel that almost nobody has access to. Gee, that’s the way to grow an international sport….

So what to do? Well, start with eligibility. State that from [insert date here] players will only be permitted to represent one country. This will almost certainly result in some players delaying declaring their eligibility for a country other than Australia or NZ until later in their careers. And that would mean the next World Cup might have a diluted pool of players available for selection. But that’s OK, because taking a longer-term view would be good for the game and would, hopefully, provide some depth and quality in the Island nations’ own teams, not just for New Zealand and Australia.

Till next time,

SG

Black and White

Night and day. Chalk and cheese. The above title doesn’t just refer to the obvious colour difference in their attire. It’s about the teams’ abilities, the selections, possibly the coaching and definitely the way the respective national bodies operate.

I am, of course, talking about the All Blacks and the All Whites.

Firstly the footballers. To get it out of the way, that performance in Mexico was appalling. The Men in White offered a hapless midfield and almost nothing on attack. But their defence; oh my god. An A-League team would not have provided that much space to opposing attackers. The number of free headers whereby Mexicans rose unchallenged in the New Zealand penalty area was embarrassing.

On not many occasions does a team concede a fiver and you can say the keeper had a great game, but you can in this instance. Glen Moss was absolutely superb. He made several world class saves and without his outstanding performance the score could easily have hit double figures.

Some of coach Ricki Herbert’s selections were puzzling to say the least. Winston Reid’s injury was extremely unfortunate as he is far and away our best defender. And I didn’t have a problem with Herbert playing Tony Lochhead at left back, although you’d probably have to say his career at this level is pretty much done now. But some selections just didn’t make sense to me.

Jeremy Christie lives in the United States and can’t find a club team to take him on. Leo Bertos is now a bit-part player for the Phoenix and seems to have lost more than one yard of pace. Ivan Vicelich is 37 years old, is at least four years past his best and looks thoroughly out of his league at this level these days. Rory Fallon was a national hero in 2009 but now plies his trade as a journeyman in Scotland and is surely not an international-level player anymore. I also think Shane Smeltz offers more at the top level than Jeremy Brockie, who seems to disappear from view far too often. And Marco Rojas, although still coming back to full fitness, should probably have got more minutes on the pitch than he did.

And the tactics; sigh. While it would’ve been crazy to play all-out attack and risk conceding goals on the break, it was equally ineffective to sit back in midfield and defence and let the speedy, skilful little Mexicans run the game and pass, pass and then pass some more. Whenever the Kiwis did manage to get some possession they, as I read in one on-line commentary, initiated a classic old game of ‘forceback’ as they took NZ football back 35 years by bashing the ball down the middle of the park as far as they could without any thought of holding onto the ball or creating any pressure of their own. I really hope they can salvage some pride next Wednesday at the Westpac Stadium. I’ll be one of the 37,000 in attendance hoping and praying for the 4-0 miracle to become reality. Time to give some of the young fellas a go. What do we have to lose?

But their problems go much deeper than one game. As an organisation, NZ Football/Football NZ seems disorganised, rudderless, leaderless and relatively clueless. From player availability for their clubs (Phoenix) prior to departure to scheduling of appallingly insufficient warm-up matches to advising that the players would be available for media duties upon their return without first consulting them (although that was handled abysmally by the team’s management); everything they do seems uncoordinated, amateur and clumsy.

Football is by far the biggest sport on the globe and it is being run as if we are still living in 1979. When the All Whites came within a coat of paint of beating Italy in the 2010 World Cup and progressing to the knockout stages of that tournament, New Zealand Football should have capitalised and grown the game here. But they didn’t really seem to do anything. Any youth development in this country comes courtesy of private academies such as those run by ‘Ole’ or Wynton Rufer.  After our only other appearance at the World Cup in 1982, NZ Football sat on their hands and didn’t do a lot to grow the game when they had a prime opportunity to do so. Looks like nothing much has changed in 30 years.

Contrast that with the All Blacks. Success breeds success. Their on-field triumphs over many years have become world famous. As a result they have become a marketer’s dream and the big bucks have come rolling in. Now players can be retained (although the number of players at junior level not being retained does concern me) and developed, the brand grows even further and the juggernaut rolleth onward. In 2013 they have won 13 out of 13, despite referee Craig Joubert’s decidedly average, and relatively one-sided, display of officiating in the test against England this weekend, and should realistically defeat Ireland next week to complete the first professional-era unbeaten international rugby season.

Off the field too, everything is slick. The players and coaches (including Mumbly Hansen) are available to the media frequently when I’m sure they’d often rather be walking into the dressing room or just be somewhere else. The multitude of sponsors also get their money’s worth I think. And the NZRU, although I’m certainly not saying I agree with everything they do, provide leadership and clear direction for their money-makers dressed in black.

And rugby is nowhere near as big a sport as football.

So what should Football New Zealand do? Promote the All Whites. Schedule international matches that actually matter and that create some level of interest amongst the New Zealand public. Create a Bledisloe Cup equivalent. Get local football shown on TV. Move football, at least at the senior level, to the Summer (I seem to recall this being tried previously but I don’t know if or why it didn’t work). Work with academies to identify young talented players, ensure they’re linked to a club in NZ and if they’re good enough, actively work to find them overseas contracts. It may cost a little bit now but we have so many potentially excellent players in this country that the pay-off could be huge one day.

This is the End

This weekend saw two sportsmen pull the pin on long and illustrious careers.

Sachin Tendulkar will undoubtedly be remembered as one of the all-time greats of the game of cricket. He made his international debut for India as a 16 year old in 1989. He finished, in his 200^th test match (!) with a typically composed 74 before being caught in the slips and making his way back to the pavilion for a final time as the Indian crowd sat and stared in silent disbelief before erupting into emotion-charged cheers and applause. ‘The Little Master’ will without doubt be mentioned in the same breath as the incomparable Sir Donald Bradman. Indeed Bradman himself once said that Tendulkar was the only modern player who reminded him of himself in terms of the way he played. Praise doesn’t get any higher than that.

David Tua also called it quits after his loss to genetically-modified Russian gigantor Alexandr Ustinov, whose head was only slightly smaller than Tua in his entirety. Despite reports to the contrary, I thought Tua looked beaten when he walked out. There wasn’t the old fearless determination behind his eyes anymore and Tua himself said he felt he was done after the fifth round.  He tried his best but ultimately he’s probably too small to beat a big top-rate heavyweight. I always remember when Tua fought Lennox Lewis for the Heavyweight Championship of the World in 2000. 99% of Kiwis, including me, jumped on the ‘Tua’s gonna knock him out’ bandwagon. But Sir Robert Jones, who is well known for his boxing nous, bet $30,000 (I believe that was the figure) on Lewis to win. When quizzed on why, he simply said ‘Tua is too small’. And, unfortunately, Sir Bob was right.

Tua beat some very good heavyweights along the way, including future titleholders Rahman and Ruiz. But if he came up against a good ‘big ‘un’ who had a strong jab, he invariably couldn’t get inside to deliver his killer hooks.

Tua deserves better than what he’s ended up with. He was at one stage worth millions when managed by Kevin “Botox’ Barry and Martin Pugh. Through his supposed prime boxing years, rather than fighting in the ring, he was fighting those two in the courtroom. Tua, without reservation, trusted Barry and Pugh with his $20 million fortune. I wouldn’t care to make any allegations or insinuations, but I would suggest Joseph Parker Googles “Martin Pugh” and reads the first article that appears before he agrees to any deals with Barry…

After several years of inactivity, a bankrupting legal battle, a financially disastrous ‘deal’ with Maori TV ($50k for each of three fights) which wasted more time that he was fast running out of and finally a divorce, Tua now drives a mini and lives in his gym in South Auckland.  He says he’s happy, and he probably is. Tua appears to be a genuinely caring person who always regards the glass as half-full, not half-empty. He has achieved far more than any other Kiwi/Samoan boxer in the modern era.

I hope he is remembered for his achievements as there were plenty. I hope he carves out a successful career in politics. And I hope he finds happiness; he deserves it.

Till next time,

SG