What to do...

…with Ma’a Nonu?

It seems that New Zealand rugby’s so-called problem child may be on the move again. Nonu’s much-publicised parting of the ways with Mark Hammett and his beloved Hurricanes has seemingly resulted in Nonu losing direction and, occasionally, motivation. On his day Nonu is one of the finest midfield backs this country has seen. But increasingly his ‘day’ seems to only occur when pulling on the black jersey.

The All Blacks need Nonu, make no mistake about that. Anyone who says ‘drop him, he’s rubbish’ needs to be slightly more constructive and suggest who exactly his replacement might be. Francis Saili is one for the future; Ryan Crotty is a possibility but isn’t overly inspiring; Dan Carter could shift out one spot, but why would you move the world’s best first five? I think most impartial fans would agree that Nonu is certainly the best option right now.

However as we all know he has to be playing super rugby to qualify to play international rugby. But where?

I think it’s fair to say the Blues won’t want him back. And, to the outsider anyway, it appears bridges have been burned in the deep south. There’s every chance the Chiefs will be recruiting a second five from the Sydney Roosters next season and it’s difficult to see Nonu flourishing for the Crusaders. Which leaves the Hurricanes. The Canes’ options for the number 12 jersey have been somewhat limited this season. I was hopeful that Tim Bateman would do a good job this year, but for various reasons he has been a little disappointing. Ray Lee-Lo has done a good job but for some reason I’ve felt he’s simply a stop-gap. So if the Canes can hold onto Beauden Barrett, making Nonu the meat in a Barrett-Conrad Smith sandwich might be the X-factor the lower North Island’s representative team needs.

…with Sonny Bill?

I’ve never before experienced a New Zealand athlete who can dictate to his employers in the way that SBW does. He signs lucrative contracts with whatever timeframe he desires, no matter how short that is. Prior to signing these short-term contracts, he duly informs his future employers that he will also be entering the boxing ring whenever he likes. And the employers accept all contract conditions without so much as blinking an eyelid.

SBW gets away with this because he is an astounding athlete. When he arrived at the Crusaders pre-season training, despite his rugby activities in France, he was a raw and undeveloped talent. By the time he departed to the land of the rising yen before a subsequent return to the NRL, he had developed into a remarkable rugby player who had displaced the aforementioned M. Nonu from the AB’s. And now, as he bursts through defences for the Sydney City Chooks, he looks twice the league player he was before his infamous departure from the Bulldogs in 2008.

As an aside I think he is, at best, an average heavyweight boxer. But that’s a discussion for another day.

So what should SBW do? In my opinion he should play the Rugby League World Cup late this year, return to the Chiefs in 2014, then earn some more yen in the back end of next year, before smashing his way into Super Rugby in 2015 and finally helping us retain the World Cup.  He can do what he likes after that.

…with Super Rugby?

I was interested to read the Players’ Association’s suggestions for a revamp of Super Rugby. This involved including an Argentinian team and a Japanese team in future competitions and introducing even more of a ‘local pool’ structure.

I really don’t know how this proposal would work in practice, but I am sure that something has to be done. The whole thing feels stale to me. If two South African or two Australian teams are playing, I don’t even consider watching the game. If a NZ team is playing a South African or Australian franchise, it’s likely I’ll not bother. I do watch most games between NZ franchises but thanks to the pool/conference ranking system, some of those games are rendered effectively meaningless in the second half of the season.

Stadium crowds are dwindling. We are frequently told that continuing income from broadcast sponsors is largely dependent on securing the ongoing inclusion of South African teams. But Super Rugby is, on many occasions, boring. It’s a real shame that NZ rugby is now so dependent on TV money. What this means is that nothing will change in the foreseeable future.    

The Victorious Lions

The Welsh and Irish and Pacific Island and little bit Kiwi and slightly English and not very Scottish Lions absolutely destroyed the Woeful Wallabies on Saturday night. The Lions were largely dominant up front and the backs were way more balanced and potent with Jamie Roberts in the midfield in place of the to-be-honest-slightly-overrated Brian O’Driscoll. And in fullback Leigh Halfpenny, they must have the best fullback in the world at present.

The Lions were outstanding. But the Wallabies were not very good. They had the same problems as they have often experienced in the past few years. The front row is a joke at international level. If you have props who are as experienced as Ben Alexander and Benn (why the extra ‘n’?) Robinson you would hope they can hold up their side of the scrum on most occasions. But they were inadequate in that regard. And Sekope Kepu isn’t much, much better really.

The rest of their forward pack is pretty solid, but without quality in the front row it makes their jobs all the more difficult. I did love the fairy-tale return of George Smith, who was man of the match in the third test against the Lions twelve years ago, although I’m not sure how he got back on the field having been knocked senseless in the first five minutes.

Essentially the best team won. The Lions are physically large from 1 to 23 and I do think the result is that Warren Gatland secures his place in history and Robbie Deans will likely be logging onto www.seek.com.au in the near future.

Warriors

The Warriors didn’t disgrace themselves despite ending their five match unbeaten run with a 30-13 loss to the Rabbitohs. The scoreline wasn’t indicative of what a close and tough game it was. The Warriors controlled large portions of the game and for much of the 80 minutes looked the better team. But in the end they simply appeared to run out of puff while at the same time Shaun Johnson, who during the first half showed some sublime touches, lost his way a little. But the Warriors still have a shot at making the top eight and from there who knows what may happen.

Americas Cup

I read a column this week describing the Cup as simply a bunch of spoilt rich kids.

1.       I agree

2.       Why did the Government waste tens and tens of millions of taxpayers’ dollars investing in this nonsense?

3.       The only reason I care about winning it is the resultant income from tourists

4.       Actually, that’s not enough of a reason. I don’t care about the Americas Cup

5.       Does anyone?

More Randomness

Last week I attempted to construct a reasonable rugby team out of current league players. This week I ask the question: how would rugby players of yesteryear fare in the game of today? This isn’t intended to be a ‘greatest’ team. It’s merely a team that I think would cope with the different demands of today’s type of rugby. Self-imposed rule: each candidate must have been a test player prior to 1987.

Fullback

There are plenty of contenders such as John Gallagher and Allan Hewson. The problem? They’d simply be too small. George Nepia by all accounts was a supremely talented sportsman and tough to boot. But Serge Blanco was amazing. He had it all and would be just as good today as he was at his peak in the 1980’s. Serge is in.

Right Wing

JK. In the 1980’s John Kirwan was considered a very large winger. Today he’d still match most outside backs for size. He was quick and had a fantastic in-and-away swerve. His defence may come into question a touch, but he’s in.

Left Wing

David Campese scored 64 test tries. He was a brilliant runner and his goose-step was fantastic to watch. But he scored his tries in an era when ‘defensive strategy’ was not a common term and his defence was, at best, awful. His achievements have rightly been recognised but he’s not in my team.

So my left wing is Bernie Fraser. He wasn’t huge, but he played above his weight in terms of ferocity and his speed and determination were a joy to behold. Not many players have a corner named after them. I would’ve loved him to have stuck around a couple more years to be a part of the inaugural World Cup.

Centre

Bruce Robertson. It is highly likely that Conrad Smith is Robertson’s love-child, such is the extent of their similarities. He carved them up in the 70’s and 80’s and he’d carve them up today.

Second Five

I know he primarily wore the number 13 jersey, but Philippe Sella will partner Robertson in the centres in my team. He was an unbelievable player and would grace the modern game with ease.

First Five

Michael Lynagh was a wonderful talent. Grant Fox was solid and dependable with a right boot that defied the weight of those old leather rugby balls. Barry John was a genius. Naas Botha would effortlessly kick any penalty within 60 metres. But I love watching footage of Mark Ella. He was the complete running first five package in his day and it was a tragedy that he retired from international rugby in his mid-twenties.

Halfback

Gareth Edwards. By a mile. He’d still be a standout in the present game

Number Eight

Controversial call: Murray Mexted. He was a pretty big guy, had great speed, was a fantastic ball-runner and was very skilful. He was the Kieran Read of the late 70’s and 80’s. ‘Nuff said.

Openside Flanker

I was only very young when Jean-Pierre Rives was stealing opposition ball and linking with the French backline. He was ahead of his time in many ways and would still be a great forager in the modern game.

Blindside Flanker

Colin Meads. At 6 foot 3 or so he wouldn’t be tall enough to be a lock these days. But a destructive ball-running flanker he would become. He’d be devastating in this role.

Locks

I’m going to pick Gary Whetton and Andy Haden. Whetton plays the looser, wider Sam Whitelock type role. Haden plays the tighthead lock role with a few dirty tricks thrown in along the way!

Tighthead Prop

I always rated Richard Loe’s strength and ability to play either side of the front row. He's a borderline selection in my team as he only debuted for the All Blacks v the French Barbarians in 1986. In 2013 he’d last about 90 seconds before being sent off but if he could curb his violent streak, he’d be an excellent addition to my team.

Hooker

Sean Fitzpatrick. Fitzy only just fulfils my selection criteria as he debuted for the All Blacks in 1986. In many ways he revolutionised the role of the hooker as he combined strength, bulk and scrummaging ability with a great deal of mobility. 

Loosehead Prop

Peter Fatialofa would go close due to his strength, bulk and fearlessness. But the late, great Sir Wilson Whineray fascinates me when I see footage of him as a rugby player. What he lacked in size he more than made up for with strength and mobility. Today he’d be one of those annoying props who gets under his opposing prop in the scrums and gets to every ruck and maul just behind the loosies.

Chris Martin Calls It A Day

Finally a shout out to Chris Martin. No, not the front man for the band Coldplay. This week the worst batsman in history announced his retirement from all forms of cricket.

With a test batting average of 2.36 and a test bowling average (number of runs conceded per wicket taken) of almost 34, you’d be excused for thinking he will not be remembered as one of the greats. And he won’t. But he is the third highest test wicket taker ever for New Zealand with 233 wickets, only trailing the great Sir Richard Hadlee and Daniel Vettori. And he played test cricket for New Zealand through an era in which we often played very few test matches.

He never improved his batting and often looked as though he was using a stick of bamboo rather than a slab of English Willow. But through hard work in the gym and the practice nets he developed himself into a genuine test-class medium-fast bowler. Left-handed batsmen the world over will certainly be glad he’s gone.

Till next time,

SG