Was Robbie Smiling?

As Robbie Deans, presumably, sat in his plush Sydney home on Saturday night did he watch the All Blacks slaughter this somewhat new batch of Wallabies? And did he ever so slightly let out a little smile? Not in a nasty way; just a flicker of satisfaction that said ‘Ewen McKenzie – it’s not as easy as you thought, is it?’

The All Blacks simply dismantled the Wallabies. Even though they conceded 29 points, which will be a concern for the coaching crew, they always looked in control as they racked up 47 points of their own. McKenzie has rattled the changes in his troops, but it appeared the same old problems still persist.

The Aussie front row had their moments where they competed well enough but ultimately they are still just journeymen and grafters. For example McKenzie dropped Benn Robinson and replaced him with James Slipper; I couldn’t actually tell the difference. They need a standout number 8 and number 6. Having said that, openside flanker Michael Hooper was arguably the best player on the field. He was everywhere, always involved and a constant nuisance for the AB’s. 

In the backs, fullback Jesse Mogg probably played his way out of the team for next week in Wellington. Israel Folau is a wonderful talent but at times on Saturday I wondered if he was even on the field at all. It would be worth trying him at fullback to get him into the game more. James O’Connor had moments where he did OK on the left wing and is probably worth persevering with, although he did a superb impersonation of Manu Vatuvei on defence as he rushed in unnecessarily and left his opposite Ben Smith unmarked to score in the corner.

For the AB’s, Ben Smith was superb, as was Conrad and Ma’a Nonu answered many of his critics with a good all-round game. Cruden was excellent, as was nippy little Aaron Smith who dictated the pace and direction of the game superbly.

In the forwards McCaw mixed some sublime moments with some blatant and silly penalisable offences in kickable field positions. But ultimately he superbly won a couple turnovers at key times, scored an excellent try (his ninth in trans-Tasman clashes) and will be all the better for the hit-out.

I often found myself watching Steven Luatua as the match progressed. The physically imposing blindside flanker is a star of the future, no doubt about it. If Jerome Kaino returns to play proper rugby in NZ again, I think Victor Vito may struggle to ever again move ahead of Kaino, Luatua and Liam Messam in the race for the number six jersey. Luatua was a standout at Super Rugby and ITM Cup levels. And in this test, I thought he was excellent.

But test rugby is a huge step up in terms of pace and intensity. Innumerable numbers of players over the years have found the step up too great. There were times, for example after he had just put in the hard yards to chase down and smash  the ever-popular Quade Cooper, when he was down on one knee and a look on his face that said ‘man, this is tough’. But the next look on his face was ‘man, I’m loving this.’ And that’s why I think he’ll be a massive success for years to come.

My other thought while watching this test was that the mighty IRB has been at it again as they tweak their rulebook once more. I don’t mind the new ‘crouch, bind, set’ scrums. Although it takes away some of the advantage of a front row getting a ‘good hit’, if it reduces the number of indescribably annoying scrum resets, it gets my vote. But those resets have now been replaced by penalties (no longer free kicks) for crooked feeds into the scrum by the halfback. Sometimes the feeds were crooked, but sometimes the scrum was on the move and the feed wasn’t actually as crooked as it appeared to be. But either way, who cares? If a team’s scrum is good enough to push the attacking team off the ball, then that’s fine. But otherwise a scrum is really just a way to re-start play and draw all the forwards in so there’s an element of space further out. So the direction of the scrum feed doesn’t really matter to me.

The other moment of rules-gone-crazy involved Aaron Smith. He made a(nother) break and was tackled but wasn’t held by the tackler. He therefore got back up and carried on running. A shrill blast of the whistle ensued. What had he done wrong? He had failed to release the ball momentarily before getting up again. What? Why? What possible reason is there for that rule? If you’re tackled and held, release the ball – no problem. If you’re tackled but not held, why can’t you just get up and carry on? Another example of a stupid rule dreamt up by some cigar-smoking, port-swilling, moustachioed upper class chap sitting in a leather armchair in a London gentleman’s club. Rugby has too many rules and that has to change.

The Week by Numbers

47: An almost record score by the All Blacks vs. the Wallabies

29: Too many points conceded by the All Blacks

3: Number of boats left in the Americas Cup regatta

4: Total number of boats in the Americas Cup regatta in the first place

1: Number of goals scored by Liverpool vs. Stoke. Enough for a first-up win…

19.66: Number of seconds Usain Bolt required to run 200 metres on the way to a World Championship gold medal.

-10: Jason Dufner’s score to win the U.S. PGA golf championship

140: dollars required to purchase a family pass to the upcoming All Whites world cup playoff

452: dollars required to purchase four adult tickets to the upcoming All Blacks vs. Australia test

10+: years since the Wallabies have held the Bledisloe Cup

210: number of Major League baseball games Alex Rodriguez will miss after testing positive for performance-enhancing substances

24: points scored by the Warriors vs. the Penrith Panthers

28: points scored by the Penrith Panthers vs. the Warriors

500,000: NZRU’s approx. annual profit

Americas Cup of Lies

Has it stopped? Oh god, no it’s still going. And now the cup holders Oracle, skippered by ‘Kiwi’ Russell Coutts, have been shown to be cheating. I don’t really understand how – something about putting a weight on the keel or something. Honestly, could this whole debacle get any sillier? Probably…

Where are the Crowds?               

In the 1980’s it was deemed ‘The Battle of the Bridge’. These matches were brutal affairs with tries, big hits, punches and trips to the sinbin. Everyone who watched was either a staunch Auckland supporter or an Auckland-hater who fervently supported the North Harbour side.

On Sunday we had the 2013 version. The atmosphere was akin to morning tea with the crochet club. If you subtracted players, officials, union employees, corporate guests and recipients of freebies, I reckon there were about 25 spectators in attendance. It is also indicative of what’s happening in NZ rugby right now. Seemingly these days the general public cares less and less about our ‘national game’; the exception being the All Blacks, whose support base never wanes.

As the NZRU pat themselves on the back about getting their accounts out of overdraft (and let’s face it, they were only a couple of executive salaries or a top level playing contract away from being back in the red), I hope they also have a plan outlining how they will grow the game again in this country.

Till next time,

SG